stilljustandrew (
stilljustandrew) wrote2004-09-19 12:39 am
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I slept, and I didn't dream. Waking up feels like it's for the first time ever.
This is not redemption. I know better than that. It's not even really forgiveness, I don't think.
It's a ... a chance to try for forgiveness, maybe.
"Until you see that those whom you speak to are no more nor less real than you," Dream said. I didn't get it. I knew they were real, I always knew that.
But ... I'm real. That's what I didn't get. That and what it means.
If I'm real, then ... then that means the things I do are real. It means my life isn't a story. It means I don't get to retcon my past with a version I like better. It means --
It means I can affect real people. I can help them. And I can hurt them. Even without meaning to.
It means responsibility. Which is maybe the most terrifying word I've ever heard.
One step at a time.
This is not redemption. I know better than that. It's not even really forgiveness, I don't think.
It's a ... a chance to try for forgiveness, maybe.
"Until you see that those whom you speak to are no more nor less real than you," Dream said. I didn't get it. I knew they were real, I always knew that.
But ... I'm real. That's what I didn't get. That and what it means.
If I'm real, then ... then that means the things I do are real. It means my life isn't a story. It means I don't get to retcon my past with a version I like better. It means --
It means I can affect real people. I can help them. And I can hurt them. Even without meaning to.
It means responsibility. Which is maybe the most terrifying word I've ever heard.
One step at a time.