stilljustandrew | (no subject)

I just got back to my room, after talking to Meg half the night. Something ... something's changed with us. Something's not the same, and it's scary and exhilarating and I don't know what's going to happen next.

It feels like getting to the top of the roller coaster and looking down. Like that moment when your stomach goes weightless. Only instead of down, you're about to swoop up into the sky.

I've been sitting here for half an hour and I can't put it into words any better than that.

She's not here now, though. Had to go home for a rehearsal. I don't think I want to think about that right now -- all we talked about, her old job and average lifespan where she's from and everything.

I don't want to think about the potion Angie gave me either. Dreamless sleep. I'd so love that right now. And the bottle's right there, and I'm so tired I can't think straight, and I can't stand the nightmares much longer.

But Dream would know. He'd know I cheated. And maybe they won't last much longer anyway -- they're getting better, a little, they are, I'm not screaming in my sleep anymore -- so I must be doing something right.

I just wish I knew what.