At the Council Library

[stilljustandrew]

Sam's been here before, a couple of years ago.

Very little has changed; it still has the timeless feel of most libraries, the central rotunda still vast and hushed and reverent.

Comments

[stilljustandrew]

It doesn't take too careful a search to see the worry in Andrew's face.

"Officially they close at four AM. You can get a reading room kept open by arrangement after that, but...."

He trails off, biting his lip.

"You okay, man?"

[gavemea_45]

His friend's concern is visible, but there's only one way to answer it. Sam shakes his head at Andrew.

"I'm fine. Just been staring at the books too long. You know how that is; hard on the eyes."

[stilljustandrew]

"Sam --"

Instead of circling the table to take his own chair again, Andrew tugs over another to sit closer, leaning forward, hands flat on his knees.

"Come on. Don't give me that." The words may be brusque; the tone is closer to pleading.

[gavemea_45]

"I'm okay," he insists. "I'm okay."

Sam lets out a slow breath, and meets Andrew's eyes with a steady gaze.

"You really want to help?"

[stilljustandrew]

"Yeah." Very softly. "Yeah, I do."

With an effort, he doesn't add of course or you know that, or anything else that might sound like a reproach.

[gavemea_45]

He nods anyway, as if he's heard the unspoken thought. Sam holds his glance, and there's no sign of uncertainty as he says, just as quietly,

"Then stop asking." A beat. "Please."

Don't make me lie to you.

[stilljustandrew]

The words make a short silence around them, deeper than the library's general quiet.

Andrew searches his face, making no effort at all to hide it.

(nothing's wrong ... you don't ask me that)




"You're sure?"

[gavemea_45]

He knows what Andrew's looking for. Sam stays still and lets him look, holding his glance and his ground in an unyielding silence.

Long moments pass.

Finally,

"I'm sure." Still quiet, but absolutely firm.

[stilljustandrew]

Slowly Andrew nods.

Whatever reason Sam has for not wanting to talk about it ... they're his own reasons, and not anyone else's. There's no sign of threat or duress in his face.



"Okay."

He doesn't drop his gaze.

"Okay."

[gavemea_45]

"Okay," Sam echoes -- and then he smiles. There's something tired and weary about it, but it's unquestionably real.

"Thanks." A beat. "Because I gotta tell you, man -- if this keeps going like it has been and you start trying to, I don't know, feed me soup or something the way Mac did, I'm gonna have to do something drastic."

[stilljustandrew]

Beat.

"She fed you soup?"

Awh, his face says. (In utter earnest.)

[gavemea_45]

"Uh-huh."

He looks bemused at the recollection of it.

"I guess she thought I hadn't eaten recently enough, or something."

[stilljustandrew]

"Or maybe she thought you could use some comfort food."

Andrew clearly approves.

[gavemea_45]

"Maybe. I guess."

He sounds a little doubtful about it, but willing to grant the possibility. Sam glances at Andrew.

"She said you said something about thinking I could use a friend."

[stilljustandrew]

The smile fades.

"Yeah." Low. "Yeah, I guess I did. Say something like that."

[gavemea_45]

"Uh-huh."

Sam's watching him steadily. Again.

"You gonna tell me why?"

[stilljustandrew]

"Was I out of line?"

It's getting harder not to look away.

[gavemea_45]

Sam shakes his head.

"No. But what I don't get --"

His glance doesn't waver.

"-- is why you thought you had to send someone else."

[stilljustandrew]

His gaze flickers, falls, tries to rise again. Doesn't quite make it.


I let you down.


"Because I maybe wasn't the greatest friend to you, right then. When you told me what happened."

[gavemea_45]

Sam blinks.

"What?"

His surprise is both visible and audible.

[stilljustandrew]

Andrew glances up in reciprocal surprise.



"...You were there," he says, a little blankly.

[gavemea_45]

"Well, yeah," Sam replies, a little dryly. "I know that. So?"

His expression clearly says: I still don't get where you're going with this.

[stilljustandrew]

"So it was right after that when I talked to Mac. And I thought ... I thought maybe you deserved to talk to someone who wasn't, you know."

His mouth works for a half-second, lips pressing together unsteadily.

(you meant about Ava)

"Too busy obsessing over the person who tried to kill you."

[gavemea_45]

He shrugs.

"It's not like you didn't have reason to be upset. I knew that. I figured you would be."

[stilljustandrew]

"Yeah. But I shouldn't have been so upset that I forgot to think about what you went through. Not ever."




To his hands, still resting on his lap: "You deserved better than that."