[undarkest timeline] oopfsb: watchers always make lists

[stilljustandrew]

He needs to write that list. He promised Matt.

Watchers always make lists.

Abilities

can take on the form of any individual dead or formerly dead

can (apparently) know anything known to the dead

can sometimes interfere with magical energies so as to disrupt spells aimed at it directly

can give abilities such as superhuman strength or clairvoyance to its chosen followers, while transforming others into Harbingers

can appear and speak to one individual while remaining unseen and unheard by others present

has claimed the ability to pull people out of hell (unconfirmed)

can communicate with people through dreams nightmares

Known Strategies

winning followers through promises and/or corruption

impersonating close friends / loved ones, to deceive and mislead (esp. if the individual is not known to have died)

appearing as close friends / loved ones / enemies without keeping up pretense of actually being them, to stir up strong emotion and cloud judgment

passing misinformation / interfering with communication

damaging morale through constant harassment, esp. of those in fragile emotional/mental states

Andrew hesitates, then adds under that last: On more than one occasion the First has attempted, often but not always successfully, to talk people into murder and/or suicide.

He stops and looks at it for several minutes, trying to decide if that sounds melodramatic.

"You okay?" asks Jonathan's voice behind him.

He turns before his mind catches up, and stutters "Y-yeah."

Jonathan's sitting there on the edge of his bed, looking sad and sympathetic and even a little indignant on his behalf. "He dumped you, didn't he. I'm sorry. That sucks."

Andrew closes his eyes. "If you wanna talk to me," he says unsteadily, "stop looking like him."

"Sorry," says another voice, ruefully; when he opens his eyes, it's Ava Wilson sitting there. "Better?"

"Not much." He turns back to the list, shoulders hunched as though he could hide what he's writing.

"I mean it, though. I am sorry. Especially since it kinda was actually my fault? I called it wrong, I figured for sure he'd stick it out with you."

Andrew's fingers close hard on the pen. "Did you want something?"

She laughs. "What? I told you I'd be back. But listen, if this isn't a good time I can always come back later."

"Yeah," he says to the paper. "Do that. Please."

A pause, and then sounding pleased: "Well, since you ask so nicely. Sure. Just -- one thing before I go?" She pauses, and then when he doesn't respond goes on, her tone shading into concern: "Don't ... don't let it get to you, okay? If he's not gonna be there when you need him, he doesn't deserve you."

Silence. Andrew waits, then slowly lets a breath trickle out.

Then freezes, as his own voice breathes wickedly into his ear: "He deserves me."



When he turns to look, the room's empty.

Comments

[stilljustandrew]

"Hey."

He tries to smile. It almost works.

"You wanna ...?" And he steps back, letting her in without actually speaking an invitation.

[nita_callahan]

"Yeah, thanks."

She steps inside, still focused on him.

"You okay?"

[stilljustandrew]

"Uh," and that comes out on a slightly shaky sigh, "kind of ... not really."

He shuts the door behind her, and rubs a hand distractedly over his face.

[nita_callahan]

She hugs her elbows.

"I, um, talked to Matt."

[stilljustandrew]

Andrew swallows.

"Did he ... tell you?"

[nita_callahan]

"About? He said you broke up, he told me a little about the First Evil."

[stilljustandrew]

"I, I meant that ... that we broke up."



He turns to reach for the list on the desk as though he's just now remembered it exists. "We talked about, about the First too, though -- I was making him a list ..."

[nita_callahan]

Nita blows out a breath.

"What do you want to talk about first?" she asks softly.

[stilljustandrew]

Andrew hesitates for a long moment, the paper rustling between his fingers.

"I don't know." Small and ashamed. "This, this is probably more important."

[nita_callahan]

"Not if you're not going to be able to focus on it."

[stilljustandrew]

He bites his lip.

"Yeah. Okay."

And sits down, slowly as though bracing against an inner ache, on the edge of the bed.

[nita_callahan]

Nita hesitates, then takes the chair and pulls it over so she can sit across from him.

"It sucks, Andrew. I'm sorry."

[stilljustandrew]

He tries his hardest to suppress a flinch at the near-echo, and isn't sure whether he manages it or not.

"I mean, he said --" His throat is tight; he has to push the words through. "We, we don't know each other well enough to be support for each other right now. Through something like this. And maybe he's right, it's, we don't, I didn't even --"

He swallows. "I didn't even ask. Who the First looked like for him. And he didn't ask me either."

[nita_callahan]

She frowns and nods.

"What did it look like for you?"

[stilljustandrew]

He hunches over, a little.

"Me. And Meg. And Todd Bowden. And, and Jonathan, just now. And Ava."

[nita_callahan]

Okay, she knows -- some of those people.

"It looked like you?" She blinks. "When did you die?"

[stilljustandrew]

He shifts uncomfortably. "A couple years ago? I wasn't dead dead, I just -- I was trying to help a friend with something and I got hit with spell backlash and my heart stopped for a few seconds."

[nita_callahan]

"Huh. All right, that's good to know. You know I've been dead too, right? Matt never has, as far as I know, so it can't look like him."

[stilljustandrew]

"I, I think I did know that. And Matt said he hasn't, yeah."

[nita_callahan]

"Good."

She looks down at her hands, clasped in her lap. Tries to figure out how to phrase what she wants to say next.

"About Matt."

[stilljustandrew]

"Yeah?"

He should be looking at her. He can't quite make himself do it.

[nita_callahan]

No, yeah, she's not wild about eye contact right now either.

"Matt . . . is great," she says slowly. "He is. But he's not necessarily good at commitment. Or--" She shrugs. "I mean, he's got a non-traditional view on it, at the very least. And if you've got one, like, set of expectations, he's probably got a very different one, and when they clash, it hurts. So that's my first point."

A deep breath.

"Second point is, he's freaked out by all this, same as you, and sometimes he thinks he can handle, like, six things at once? But he can't. Although, third point, he sucks at the break-up speech under totally non-fraught circumstances, too."

She looks up at him. "And on the gripping hand -- none of that's your fault, Andrew. Him sucking at relationships isn't a reflection on you. It's not because of you -- it's his own crap that he has to deal with. And he's not going to be the last person who's ever into you."

[stilljustandrew]

He's listening. And nodding along, albeit with compressed lips and unhappy eyes here and there -- up until the last words, at which he goes very still.

You don't know that, he wants to say.

[nita_callahan]

"He's really not, Andrew."

[stilljustandrew]

Unsteady: "What if he is."