[reverse darkest timeline AU: cellthread #3]

[stilljustandrew]

It's been about two days.

Nobody's come for him.



Andrew's lying down, staring at the far wall.

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[stilljustandrew]

"But I got angry with Tom." Barely audible. "And Nita, a little. When they were here."

[gothamsheiress]

"Why?"

[stilljustandrew]

He shakes his head, pulling in his arms and knees tighter.

"It doesn't matter."

[gothamsheiress]

"All right."

Brix glances down at her hands.

"You haven't always been happy with me, either. Understandably so."

[stilljustandrew]

Miserably: "But you came back."

[gothamsheiress]

"I'm . . . not as close to you as they are," she says slowly, carefully. "If you lash out at me, it doesn't hurt."

[stilljustandrew]

"I don't want it to."

He looks up, eyes wide and wet, on the verge of weeping again.

"I don't want to hurt anybody."

[gothamsheiress]

"No, I know. I don't believe you meant to hurt them, or wanted to. It's the love we have for our friends that makes fighting with them so painful."

[stilljustandrew]

He blinks as she's talking, and some of the tension goes out of him at I don't believe you meant to hurt them.

When she's done he nods, and rubs distractedly at one eye.

"And I don't ... I don't want to hurt you because I'm angry about somebody else."

[gothamsheiress]

She smiles, slightly.

"Thank you."

[stilljustandrew]

He doesn't smile, even at her thanks.

"I don't want to be like her."

[gothamsheiress]

"Like -- Meg?" she guesses.

[stilljustandrew]

He nods, silently.

[gothamsheiress]

"You can make amends for the hurt you caused to your friends," she points out. "I doubt Meg ever tried to make amends to you."

[stilljustandrew]

"No," he mumbles.

And starts to say something else, pauses, frowns.

[gothamsheiress]

Brix cocks her head.

"Hm?"

[stilljustandrew]

"There was one time," he says slowly, "I was going to say, when ... when someone else did. Because Lucifer told them to. But it wasn't making amends really, it was a reward. It's not the same thing."

[gothamsheiress]

"You're right," she assures him. "It isn't.

[stilljustandrew]

Slow, again: "I mean, because Him making amends for ... for her hurting me ... it wouldn't have made any sense."

He swallows. "Because she only ever hurt me when He said she could."

[gothamsheiress]

"He hurt you purposefully, and let her hurt you."

She lets out a slow breath.

"And you don't make amends for such things. Is that what you mean?"

[stilljustandrew]

"Yeah," he whispers. "I guess. And like, it, it was always ... it was for a purpose."

[gothamsheiress]

Quiet: "What sort of purpose?"

[stilljustandrew]

"I mean it wasn't like just, when, when she felt like it. It was ... for a punishment. Or ..."

Halting, now. "Or one time it was ... like I said before. When she was angry about something else, and ... and needed to take it out on somebody. Or she wouldn't be good for anything for weeks."

[gothamsheiress]

"So he let her hurt you. But you didn't want her to, I take it."

[stilljustandrew]

"He told me it was what He needed me to do. Let her hurt me." His shoulders are hunched, his head low; he doesn't look up as he speaks. "And ... and He didn't make it an order, at, at first, because ... because He said I might feel like I had to refuse to obey it."

He swallows hard, painfully.

"And I said if He commanded me to, I'd do it. And He, He was ... He was pleased with me, and He said to come to Him afterwards, and He'd heal me of whatever she did."