[reverse darkest timeline au] all you want is refuge

[stilljustandrew]

He goes back to his own cell, after the exorcism. And lies down, after a while.

Nita's okay. She'll be okay. There's no reason for him to feel this shaky.

Except there is. Oh, there is.

He's trying not to think about it.

Comments

[stilljustandrew]

Maybe it doesn't make sense, then.



"Because I know what he'd do with her."

[semicharmed]

"Ah."

Matt nods slowly.

"Yeah. All right."

[stilljustandrew]

"What did you ..." think, is how that's supposed to end, but it's barely audible even to begin with and trails off into nothing.

[semicharmed]

He frowns at him.

"I'm just trying not to assume anything."

[stilljustandrew]

He swallows, and his gaze flicks away. "Okay."

With something of an effort, he pulls his hands away from twisting around each other, brings them down to his sides.

[semicharmed]

Andrew looks, to Matt's eyes, like even Matt's presence here is hurting him. He huffs out a soft breath.


"Like I said ... I'm grateful for your help. And I'm glad that your--outlook has changed."

[stilljustandrew]

"Thanks," he says, and bites his lip at how bare it is, how insincere it must sound.

"And ... thanks for, for letting me. Help."

[semicharmed]

"Sure."



He's not sure whether to keep going or not.

But after a moment, he adds:

"I don't think a lot of this is my business. But I want you to know, I'm hoping that--"

A rueful smile.

"That you'll be able to heal from your pain. As hokey as that may sound."

[stilljustandrew]

A tiny hiss of indrawn breath --



-- and a smile, unsteady and painful but genuine.

"Thank you. Really. I don't ... that, that means a lot."

[semicharmed]

"It's not totally selfless of me."

He still looks a little rueful.

"But yeah. You're welcome."

[stilljustandrew]

(What he doesn't say: I don't know if that's ever going to happen.

But it still means a lot, that Matt's hoping that for him. And that he would say so.)



"Listen, um ... you know Brix, right?"

[semicharmed]

Why yes he does! Biblically, even.

(Eluine cyclically?)

"I do," he confirms.

[stilljustandrew]

"If you see her, could you ... maybe tell her I'd like to talk to her again? Or ... I could ask Baby to bring Bar a note for her, or something ..."

It was kind of an impulsive question, which means he hasn't really thought it through.

[semicharmed]

"Oh--probably Baby would be better for that," he says.

"Brix is a friend. But I try to stay out of the relationship you guys have. Because, you know, not my business."

[stilljustandrew]

"Oh."

It feels strange to him that it's neither crushing nor frightening, having gotten it wrong.

"I ... guess I'll do that then?"

[semicharmed]

"Sounds like a plan."

[stilljustandrew]

"Okay."

This could get awkward in a moment.

"Anyway, um ... thanks. For coming by."

[semicharmed]

"Sure," he says.

In the end, it's probably better to keep his messier thoughts to himself. Matt slips his hands in his pockets, turning incrementally.

"Maybe I'll see you around out there."

[stilljustandrew]

"Maybe," he says, and it's ... oddly hopeful.

Maybe that's a thing that could happen, and wouldn't be terrible.