[ainmhianverse] same as it ever was

[stilljustandrew]

Andrew isn't sure how long he's been here. There's no clock in the room, no watch on his wrist, no phone in his pocket. Nobody's come into the room, and that feels like a test, or like a trap. Someone's waiting to see what he'll do.

It takes what feels like hours, between deciding to try opening the door and putting out his hand to grip the knob, and almost as long again to try to turn it. It turns, smoothly, effortlessly, almost silently, and with a tiny whimper of fear he pulls his hand away as though burned and stumbles back several steps.

On the second attempt, he's able to ease the door open the tiniest amount, and then freezes to see what will happen. When nothing does, he opens the door a touch further, and further until there's an opening wide enough to step through.

He steps through.

Comments

[maximumcake]

Almost soundless and yet still music to Max's ears. Although... Max was only kind of teasing. He might have to poke the subject a little harder.

"Of course you can. Trust me, It's not a problem at all."

His tone gets a little more serious. "But, really? You know why he fae brings everyone here, right? So... are you going to pursue anyone? Do you have any -you know- preferences I should know about?"

[stilljustandrew]

His smile starts to fade as Max pursues the questions, replaced by a look of confusion -- with a faint edge of hurt, as though the teasing has grown cruel and he doesn't understand why.

"It ... does that matter?" Hesitantly, as he unconsciously tucks his armful of shirts close to his chest. "It's not like anybody's gonna want me."

[maximumcake]

Oh god. That look of hurt fills Max with immediate regret. Maybe he should have just left it alone. It would work itself out in time... wouldn't it?

But then Andrew speaks and Max realizes, no, maybe it wouldn't have.

"You think no one here would? Because I don't think that's true. I think if you wanted to get intimate with someone, you'd have plenty of takers.

"But, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. If it's too personal, we don't need to talk about it anymore."

[stilljustandrew]

Strangely (or perhaps not, on reflection), Andrew looks more uncomfortable at the apology than at the initial raising of the subject. "It's not," he says, "I don't ..."

A swift glance around, to make sure nobody else is standing close enough to hear them, and he lowers his voice to a pleading half-whisper. "There isn't any too personal. I belong to you, don't I belong to you?"

[maximumcake]

Oh, christ, he's really done it now.

He steps in closer to make sure they can keep their voices low. "Yes," he whispers fiercely. "Yes, you do. You belong to me."

He wants to say that even so, there are still some things Andrew is allowed to tell him no about. But, Max can't see that going much better. Not at this stage. So, he tries a different tact.

"It is personal, though. I want you to have a choice in whether you take a partner. I want you to know that you're allowed to.

"I... I don't think it should be me. Because I'll never be sure if you really want me or if you're just giving me what you think I want. But, if you want someone else and they want you, then you're allowed to. I don't forbid it."

[stilljustandrew]

That vehement whisper from Max has an immediate reassuring effect; Andrew breathes out, his shoulders relaxing, and he nods.

Some lingering doubt crosses his face when Max goes on, though, and he looks away when Max says I don't think it should be me.

"I don't ..." he says, very softly, when Max finishes. "I don't know what I want. I haven't thought about it in a long time. I, I still don't ..." He swallows. "You really think somebody might?"

[maximumcake]

He sees that... disappointment? At Max saying it shouldn't be him. On some level, Max does understand. But this is something he just can't see himself budging on. If he can't guarantee consent then... he can't.

"I really do," Max says with a reassuring pat.

"I'm really confident someone, one of these days, is going to ask you. So, do me a favor and just... think about it for a little while? Doesn't have to be right now, but just, when you have some time alone to consider it. Try to think about if that's something you'd want. Or how you might want it."

He puts both hands on either of Andrew's shoulders and looks at him seriously, "You are mine. And I consider it my responsibility to make sure you're taken care of in every way. This is a part of that and I do want to take it seriously."

[stilljustandrew]

At those last words, he breaks into a shaky smile, reassured and grateful.

(It's not just the confirmation, again, that he belongs to Max; it's that he's reframed the issue in a way that makes sense to him.)

"All right," he says, and blinks hard. "All right. I, I promise I'll think about it. And ... tell you? Do you want me to tell you?"

[maximumcake]

Max is relieved to see that the reframing has worked. It’s all about how it’s presented. That’s what he’s still getting the hang of. As similar as their situations were in some regards, they have some very different mindsets. Max needs to... think more like a master.

“Yes. When you are ready and you think you know what you want, please tell me. And,” This part feels strange to request. But it feels necessary too. “Tell me if you engage in intimate activities with anyone. I don’t want the details. I don’t need to know in advance. I’d just like to know who. That’s all.”

[stilljustandrew]

He nods, swift and earnest, and bites back the words yes, Max before they can fall out of his mouth.

"Is there ... anyone I shouldn't?"

[maximumcake]

Max shakes his head. "No, I'm not going to forbid you from engaging with anyone you want to. But..."

Thinking harder on this, Max is reminded of how he was when he first arrived. Eager to please. Eager to throw his own preferences to the wayside for the sake of others. To an extreme extent.

"I do forbid you from letting anyone do anything to you or with you that you don't explicitly want or aren't interested in. Do you understand?"

[stilljustandrew]

"I ... yes," he says slowly, soberly, "I understand. I, I won't."

And then, smaller: "Thank you. Even if ... even if nobody ever does want me."

[maximumcake]

"Hey," Max says with a gentle pat to his back, "just try not to be too surprised if someone does. This is a really different kind of world here."

And, with that all figured out, Max would hold his hand out for the clothes so he could take them and go make their purchases.

[stilljustandrew]

In that same small voice, Andrew starts to say "There was one time --"

But he stops as Max holds out his hand, and finishes "... maybe later," and hands over the clothes he's picked out. "It, it's probably not something for in public, anyway."

And he'll follow Max to the checkout counter.

[maximumcake]

A tiny frown creases the corner of Max's cheek, but he looks around them at the store. Thant sounds like something important but... if it's personal then this really isn't the place.

"Later, I want to hear about it. Okay?" Just so Andrew knows Max is not blowing him off.

After paying for their goods and getting Andrew properly dressed, they head over to the dojo. Max can tell some of the knowledge is still there beneath the rust. It might take some time, but Andrew is probably the most attentive student a person could ask for. After the initial assessment, Max gives Andrew a few low-level basic movements to practice on his own while Max gets in some of his more intense drills. He'll be keeping an eye out the whole time though, stopping to offer a few hints, tips, or corrections along the way.

Once the hour has passed, he grabs his towel and water bottle and taps Andrew on the shoulder. "Okay, I think that's a pretty good workout for the first day. How are you doing? Pretty tired?"

[stilljustandrew]

Andrew stops moving immediately, blinking sweat out of his eyes, limbs trembling and achy with fatigue. He nods, and after a moment adds "Yeah," between gulping breaths. "I, I'm ... out o' practice."

He will happily collapse right where he's standing, if Max gives him permission to.

[maximumcake]

"I hope I didn't push you too hard." Max can see how the man trembles and is guessing the answer might be yes, he had.

"Sit down with me and let's stretch out a little."

Max will take a seat on the mat too, to help preserve a little of Andrew's pride if he can. Besides, this is a good way to model some after-workout limbering exercises. He'll go through his stretching, encouraging Andrew to follow his lead. This is an important part of the routine for Max, since building muscle can easily lead to a limited range of motion and flexibility if one isn't careful. Max is strong, but he's also retained his flexibility thanks to this.

"How are you feeling now?" He asks as he eased out of the last one. "Still need a minute? If you're sore later, I have some ointment I can put on you."

[stilljustandrew]

Oh, Max. Andrew doesn't have any pride to preserve.

But he's happy to have Max sit down with him, and he goes through the stretches and flexes with a good will, and comes out of them feeling slightly less drained.

"... Maybe a minute," he pants, somewhere between a sitting position and lying flat on his face, "yeah."

lol that icon is perfect

[maximumcake]

Oops. He's done the poor boy in. Max chuckles and soothes a hand over Andrew's back.

"It gets easier with time, I promise." Like many things.

[stilljustandrew]

He relaxes a little further at Max's touch, with an almost inaudible sigh, and the look on his face under the exhaustion is something like peace.

"I'll do my best," he whispers, and almost visibly swallows an added honorific.

[maximumcake]

"I have absolutely no doubt about it."

That look. Max should be happy to see Andrew at peace. If only it didn't disturb Max so much knowing the cause of it is the soothing touch of a Master. This discomfort is good, Max tells himself. So long as he doesn't get comfortable this way, he won't make the mistake of accepting the status quo. The goal is to get Andrew independent one day. He can't ever forget that. He can't let himself enjoy those looks, because it means Andrew isn't free yet.

"Think you can make it home, or should I carry you?" He's mostly joking. Not that he couldn't. Andrew doesn't look much heavier than Lucas.

[stilljustandrew]

"I, I can walk," he says, and starts to gather himself up. "Now?"

(And if there's a faintly wistful glance at the idea of Max carrying him, it's only for a moment, and he can push the thought aside with the ease of long practice.)

[maximumcake]

"If you're really ready to."

Andrew can push the thought aside, but Max is watching closely enough that he thinks he sees that reaction for what it is. He could also be projecting, he realizes, because he liked to be carried by his master too but...

"Do you? Want me to carry you, that is. You can tell me truthfully."

[stilljustandrew]

"I --"

He straightens a little more sharply, naked surprise on his face.

"... Yes? But, but wouldn't that be --" and he cuts himself off in confusion, afraid to go any further.

[maximumcake]

"What? Inappropriate? I get to decide that, don't I?" His smile is warm and tone gentle, so it won't sound like too harsh of an admonishment.

"I really liked to be held too. I still do, if I can find someone strong enough to do it. That's why I asked. I suspected it might be the same for you."